My desire as a parent is to develop my children into disciplined followers of Jesus. Below I've written a few of my thoughts on the matter.
1. Parents need to committed to this desire. It is hard work and results do not come in the overnight variety
1a. Children should learn that they are not the number one priority 100% of the time. They cannot demand to have what they want - when they want it - how they want it.
2. Parents need to be clear: Lay out the expectations!
2a. Rules of being a child: Be proactive (Do what mom says before she says it.) Scan for problems (Check your room, check the dishes, etc). Figure it out: (Problem solve before you involve your parents.)
3. Parents should give their children important jobs and responsibilities: Cooking for company. Caring for younger siblings. Help plan vacations.
3a. Children need to learn to be faithful with little in order to receive much.
4. Parents - Jesus matters. Jesus is connected to the why of the practical. The "why" should be repeated over and over again.
4a. Children should learn that life is integrated. What we do and says is directly connected to who Jesus is, and what did on the cross.
5. Parents, when you give your kids important things to do, they will make a mess and not meet your expectations.
5a. Children learn by making messes
6. Parents, let your children listen in on conversations about important family decisions.
6a. Children need to learn to listen and not interrupt.
7. Parents should know their values (the why we do it that way). Values dictate the why of life.
7a Children need to learn to ask good "why" questions.
8. Parents should take time to allow for evaluation from their peers, pastors, and children. It is a humbling experience that I tend to avoid, but it can be very helpful.
8a. Children should learn to be kind and gracious when discussing their parents weakness.
9. Parents should give their children specific feedback. Good Job is not really helpful.
9a. Children need to learn to take feedback without arguing.
10. Your parenting style is not the only good/bad way out there. Talk to parents who do it differently than you do. Iron sharpens iron.
10a. Children, just because they do it differently at "Johnny's House" doesn't mean that your parents are doing something wrong.