not all about you . . .
By simply writing this blog, I'm declaring, at some level, that it is about me. I can't help it. I am the center of my world. But I've grown weary of my own selfishness and yours. So, below I would like to offer a few tips on how stop making your life about you. These little tidbits are not just for you, they are also for me!
1. When someone tells a story about themselves - don't then tell your own story that is similar. Its not helpful and it minimizes the other person.
2. Ask questions. Don't talk about yourself.
3. If someone makes an observation about you that is hurtful. Take a deep breath and ask them to explain what they mean. Explore every little ounce of their thinking. Don't defend yourself. Jesus is your defender.
4. Its ok to tell stories about yourself when people ask.
5. People don't like you for the reasons you think they do.
6. Learn to use the phrases: It sounds like; Tell me a little more about; How did you experience . . .
7. When you make it about other people - you find Jesus.
8. If you don't feel connected to Jesus, its because you are making it all about you.
9. Always tell Jesus' story. Every part of your story is a movement from darkness into the light of Jesus.
10. Store up the compliments that people give you and place them at the feet of God as an act of worship. Don't tell others about them. Give them to the one who made it possible for you to offer anything good.
2 comments:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/05/01/the-art-of-conversation-how-to-avoid-conversational-narcissism/
An interesting article on a similar topic (I hope this doesn't count as telling a similar story...yikes). Reading your comments and this article made me realize that my selfishness often stems from loneliness; that I need not just QUALITY of social interaction (important) but also QUANTITY of social interaction (also important). I am a social beings and, when my tank is empty, it creates a vacuum that sucks the energy out of every conversation I have in a desperate attempt to get my tank full before the interaction ends. So, when I find myself doing this (often) I find it helpful to ask what my loneliness is about and what I can do to remedy it so I can get back to serving others. Thanks for your thoughts :)
Yes, I agree. Loneliness is a plague on the human heart. The problem comes when you and I try to fill that emptiness with people. We become devours and the the loneliness only grows. I believe that empty feeling, that is so present in our life, is a power reminder that we live outside of paradise. The emptiness, if approach properly, becomes the voice of Jesus to come and walk next to him. It is an invitation to give him our burden and learn of his light one.
Eric
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